Herman Smirch

Herman Smirch
Species	Human
First appearance	Game Boy (In the Palm of Your Hand...) (1990)
Latest appearance	Game Boy (Pipes is Pipes) (1990)

“That was fun! Hey, Atty, did you see that? I got Mario all the way to the end...and then I let Tatanga blow him away!”

—Herman Smirch, "In the Palm of Your Hand..."

Herman Smirch is the quasi-main character of the Game Boy comic books published by Valiant Comics. Smirch is a bitter and unscrupulous man from the real world who features prominently in every issue, often appearing before any other characters. He is depicted with little redeeming qualities, attempting to avoid paying for food at a restaurant and declaring "Beggars should be shot!" to a homeless veteran. He possesses little empathy for others, save for his pet hamster Attila. Smirch, an underpaid electronics store worker at Lev's Lectronics, steals and sells Game Boys from his employer Mr. Levison in resentment. He often plays Super Mario Land, though deliberately loses at the final boss, Tatanga. In each issue, Smirch follows Tatanga's orders, releasing the villain and his minions from the Game Boy into the real world.

History

In the Palm of Your Hand...

In In the Palm of Your Hand..., Smirch is hypnotized into letting the alien villain out of the Game Boy he had stolen from Lev's Lectronics, but two nearby teenagers, Rick and Josh, promptly do the same with Mario, with the plumber quickly defeating the invader. However, Tatanga escapes with Princess Daisy, whom he had kidnapped, back into the console which he had come out of.

It's a Small World After All

In It's a Small World After All, Herman calls his mother, Mrs. Smirch, who convinces him to give up gaming and come home. After giving his Game Boy to two girls on the street, he ends up being hypnotized into shoplifting another at Samson's Electronics and again lets Tatanga out. Daisy wants to take a vacation, so Smirch suggests Disney World. Tatanga hypnotizes Herman into hijacking a semi truck and then a Boeing 747 to Florida. However, unsatisfied with the jet's speed, they pile into a space shuttle, along with another kidnapped lady named Tannis Rhodes. Herman feels pity for Tannis, and gives her his coat before going off to help his leader. Tannis, however, finds Herman's Game Boy in the jacket, and releases Mario. The ship smashes into the It's a Small World attraction at Disney World, and Smirch quickly evacuates.

Team Play

Team Play starts off with him hiding from the police in his mother's house. When the mother of the two girls in the previous issue mails his first Game Boy back to him, he runs away to Wyoming, releasing Tatanga and his entire alien army at a truck stop. Thanks to an upgrade to his car, Smirch leads the squadron to China, where they begin setting up a new base of operations. However, Greg, the older brother of Josh from the first issue, who is an ensign aboard the USS Nimitz, sees what it happening and releases Mario from his own Game Boy. Mario tries to attack Tatanga's forces in his Sky Pop, but sees that they are using weaponry designed for the real world and has to retreat. Greg notes that the island that has been taken over is American soil, and that Tatanga has effectively declared war on the United States. He uses real world weaponry to upgrade Mario's Sky Pop in order to now match Tatanga's forces, and, with the upgrades, he manages to drive the enemies away, with Smirch fleeing in terror in his car.

Pipes is Pipes

In Pipes is Pipes, Herman is working at a famous carnival in Seaside Heights, overseen by his employer Mr. Petrov. This time around, when Tatanga is set free, it is Daisy's birthday and he plans to give her a present. In this issue, all Herman does is set Tatanga free, and he is not seen or mentioned again for the rest of the story.

Naming

Herman Smirch's surname refers bringing discredit or disgrace on one's reputation, fitting his bitter qualities seen in the Game Boy comic.

Names in other languages

Language	Name	Meaning	Notes
Finnish	Herman Smirch	-
Swedish	Herman Smirch	-